August 26th, 2016

alyndra: (Default)
I just finished Drifters. Typed 'The End' and everything. Still need to reread this last chapter, reread the entire fic and make sure it matches and flows and doesn't have plot holes or consistency problems, before posting it, but holy cow I actually finished something. I've been working on this for so long it's really a weird feeling; I'm such a slow writer, even though the entire fic is only ~11,000 words, that's still probably the longest fic I've ever actually finished. Right now I don't even care about the ideas for a sequel I have: the point is, this fic is done. I got it there. It took me well over a year and it's entirely possible no one else will love it, but I got it out into the world. (Mostly. 2,810 words still need to be reviewed, edited, and posted. But they will be. The doubtful part, the 'will I sit down and write' part, that's finished!)

This fic is my baby and way back when the idea first started growing, I was like, nobody will want this. I'm deliberately trying to find value in the least liked ship in the show. Maybe two people on the entire Internet will actually think this is their jam. For a long time I wasn't even going to write it: like, wouldn't it be nice if somebody else would just write it for me? But I'd managed to hit on something obscure enough no one else was doing it. (Sidenote: if they are and I somehow missed it, please effin' tell me!!)

And then after the S10 finale, events were such that I couldn't not write it. It had to get out into the world, whether people wanted to read it or not.

And here's the catch: writing it was so far beyond my comfort zone, even though I've been reading all the Internet's filthiest porn for years, that I can't ask people to read it. It's, in part, meant to disturb, and not even in ways that are about the porn. And I have warnings on it, but unless I know someone is already into the Internet's filthiest porn, the last thing I want is for someone to cross their boundaries of what they're comfortable reading because I asked. And I don't even know if I'm being objective about it (I know I'm not) and maybe it's not nearly as bad as I think. Or maybe it's worse. I don't know.

The comments and feedback I have gotten on it mean the world to me; I cuddle them close to my chest and love them inordinately.

Tl;dr I have such feels about this fic and I am kind of an insecure mess about it, but if you'd like to beta the last chapter, or just let me ramble about it to you, or tell me things about it, yes even things that don't work for you or need fixing, I am in need of any and every kind of interaction and would love you endlessly for it!

Drifters (The Fucked-Up Sam/Amelia Fic You Never Knew You Wanted)

Fic link AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4091386/chapters/9215503

Livejournal: http://alyndra.livejournal.com/21226.html

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